End of the year thinking...

The end of each year causes me to think back on the year and what I have accomplished and what I have failed at. I try to look mostly at the happy times, but I do seem to focus alot on the sadness and regrets.
I regret that my family is not any closer than it was last year at this time. About four years ago a change started happening in my family. It was like a snowball rolling downhill. I was not in control of this change and no matter how hard I tried to understand it and stop it I couldn't. My family was coming apart. For months my husband and I went to bed each night crying and went through each day in blur. After a while we were able to smile and then after much time we were able to laugh again. Then with no warning at all a wind would blow and and someone would rub salt in our wounds.
All I ever wanted for 26 years was a happy loving family. I didn't grow up in one so I was determined to work hard at having one when my husband and I married. Until 4 years ago I really though we had succeeded. We had what I would have told anyone was the closest, happiest family. So close that when things started falling apart around my ears I didn't (and still don't)understand what was happening. I even went to my Doctor and told him I thought I was losing my mind. He assured me I wasn't and told me I might just need to talk to someone.
My dearest friend who has loved me since we met over 25 years ago listened to me and cried with me and then she told me the truth. She told me that I only saw what I wanted to see. She told me I had been blind to some things. I didn't believe her and actually I was a bit mad at her for telling me such hurtful things. I felt betrayed by the one I trusted most besides my husband. After I cried and threw a several day long fit she called me again and told me she loved me and asked how I was.
I was so confused. I couldn't believe I was so wrong. I was so sad that my family was hurting like it was and felt like I could have fixed it if I had only paid more attention.
Now that it has been this long, I still feel sad, and I still hurt for what was lost, but I also know that I could not have done anything to stop it. People make choices in life. They have to make choices for their own life and all you can do is love them and pray they make good ones. If they don't make good choices you love them anyway and still pray for them.
I asked a counselor once if I was ever going stop hurting and if I would ever get over this. I was told this was alot like mourning a death. I would survive and I would eventually make it though the day without thinking about it. I hope he was right.

Things I am thankful for this year...(boy aren't you glad after the previous stuff)

1.My husband got a promotion
2.I have a friend who loves me
3.Made some new friends
4.Husband and I celebrated 26 years of marriage and we are still in love
5.Home cooking
6.My grown children have jobs and can pay their bills
7.I get to be an aunt again
8.My MIL loves me like I was her own
9.I have a SIL who is my quilting twin
10.Synthroid and Lexapro!!!

Diane

Rubber Ducky your the one...

You Are ErniePlayful and childlike, you are everyone's favorite friend - even if your goofy antics get annoying at times.
You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained
You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun.
How you live your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you.


My husband has told me for years I am easily entertained...so I guess it's true! Honestly put me in front of my sewing machine and I am content. Give me the phone with my best friend and I am happy. Set me down with my family in Houston and I will laugh until I am exhausted. Give me a drive with my husband and I am just like a school girl again. I love driving for hours with Ray just listening to music and holding hands. I am a happy gal.

It's beginning to smell alot like Christmas...

I have sausage balls in the mixing bowl, all the fixin's for chili out ready to be chopped, cookies in the oven, recipes taped up on the cabinet doors for easy viewing. As Rachel Ray would say, "YUMMO!"

I have got to be the strangest person when it comes to Christmas. I just can not get in the mood for it all until usually 3 or 4 days before. Then I am in a whirlwind trying to get everything all accomplished that I want done. Now we don't do all the hoopla stuff. We don't buy presents for everyone we know and their dog, just a gift or two for each of our children and dinner together usually the evening before, Christmas day and the day after. We don't do much in the way of decorations, usually just a tree and stockings but there is plenty of music.

My husband loves to go shopping right at the very last minute he gets a kick out of the crowds. Not me I love to be home and in the quiet. As a matter of fact after shopping all day (at 3 different stores) for all we needed for all the meals we cook for the next 5 or 6 days Ray is out shopping again, just for the fun of it! Not me, I am home, in the silence, but if we are going to eat at all I had better get in the kitchen.

Later

Diane

Clever or not, here I come

I have about 20 more seams to finish and clue #3 will be finished! YIPPEE! I think normally I would be fussing about all the nine patches, but I am not since I learned alot doing so many of them.

I have had my Brother QC 1000 sewing machine since Christmas last year. So I have had a whole year to learn all the ins and outs of this fine machine...you would think. Do you know it was just during this mystery I FINALLY made and can consistently make an accurate 1/4" seam? I am a bit embarrassed to admit that, but it is true. I had sewed on my Bernina for so long and was very comfortable with it could make the perfect seam on it almost with my eyes shut, but it took me a year to do it on my Brother. Oh well at least I can do it now! :^)

What I did was take an index card and changed the foot on the machine to a flat foot, not the one with the fence, and moved my needle to the right until from the needle to the edge of the foot was a 1/4", then I wrote it down on the card what foot I used and what needle position I was in. The card I taped to my machine where I had to see it when I turned it on. Then I reminded myself I wasn't so clever since I am sure a clever person would have done this a year ago.

With the stress of my husband's departure to his new job edging closer and closer I am spending more and more time in the sewing room. I find cutting eases stress. I already had alot of 2.5" strips so I have been focusing on my 1.5" since I just about depleted them doing my log cabin and heartstrings blocks.

This is a Linus Quilt made my a couple of ladies in my guild, my friend Nancy L is quilting it.
This is a round robin quilt that belongs to my frond Nancy L. I added the green diamonds floating on cream and the multicolored stripe right next to it. I learned alot doing this RR with her.

Later

Diane

Weekend sewing

I spent very little time sewing this weekend since my hand still hurts, but I am glad I got some done.
Friday evening I went with my man to his company Christmas dinner. It was nice as far as company dinners go. we sat at a table with several couples who we were able to talk with even though the DJ kept the music very loud most of the time. Once I even got up and asked him to turn it down as we couldn't talk over it. He mumbled something about being paid to play music and I smiled and thanked him and returned to my seat with many eyes on me. I am not sure if they were pleased with my or upset but I got to have a decent conversation for a few minutes.

Saturday Ray and I went to a late lunch at my favorite Mexican food place, then we went for a drive. When we got home we watched movies with youngest son and had a very nice evening.

I sewed some on Sunday, working on my mystery from Bonnie. I really think I am going to like this quilt. I love the fabrics together.

Ok, back to sewing...maybe pictures later

Diane

As Rosanne Rosannadanna says, "It's always something!"

I have been working on my mystery and I am really pleased with the way it is turning out. I was a bit worried as I do have problems picturing things in my mind sometimes and since this was a mystery I had no way of picturing it anyway. So that is why I chose the colors I did, I was thinking how I liked the way Neapolitan ice cream looks so I figured this would have to look good.


I would be farther along, but I managed to have an accident. Our quilt guild had our annual Christmas luncheon on Tuesday and I was rushing around trying to get all manners of things cooked even though I had plenty of time and was not rushed. Well I cut my hand at the base of my thumb where the web of skin is. I thought no big deal, I would put a band aid on it and it would be fine. No such luck. I had to go get a stitch put in it at the ER. :^( I seem to always have something happen to me during the holidays, stitches, pneumonia, surgery...

BUT...I managed to make it to the guild luncheon just in time to eat! LOL This may be my last Christmas luncheon with these ladies so I did NOT want to miss it!
Well while I was at guild I picked up one of my Christmas presents to myself...believe me ladies sometimes if you want the perfect gift you just have to buy it yourself! :^)







These are the cool spring loaded scissors, I really like them.

I made one more stop on my way home, before the numbness wore off my hand...

I bought myself these 2 books. I can't wait to dig into them and make something.

For now I am trying to get caught up on my mystery steps, since Bonnie posted another clue today. Whew boy am I behind!

Later

Diane

Working the stash

Ever since reading Judy's blog about her wanting to reduce the size of her stash I have had it in my mind also. This is not a new thought, as I have been feeling overly blessed in the fabric department for a long time. Now that I know we will be moving in the next six months I really have it on my mind to not buy new fabrics and use alot of what I have. So for the past week I have not added any to my stash and I have cut up quite a bit as I am doing the mystery quilt at Quiltville.
I have decided to do my mystery in brown, pink and cream. After cutting several strips from each of the fabrics I have in these colors I discovered I don't have as many fabrics in these colors as I thought. Oh well, I will just have a less scrappy quilt, since I really want to use only stash. I already have my backing fabric set aside since it has the same colors in it and it is several yards in length.
Ok, back to the sewing room...
later
Diane