Sunday, September 5, 2010

When will I ever learn?

When will I learn to not let words that others say mess with my head.  I have always been one who rethinks what others have said, in a hurtful way, until I can't get over the hurt. Instead of letting it roll off my back I play it over and over in my mind.
Some people just can't seem to be happy unless they make someone else unhappy. Why do I have to let them work their nastiness on me?

I always play this in my head at times like is from one of my favorite movies You've Got Mail.

Joe Fox: [talking via email to "Shopgirl"] Do you ever feel you've become the worst version of yourself? That a Pandora's box of all the secret, hateful parts - your arrogance, your spite, your condescension - has sprung open? Someone upsets you and instead of smiling and walking away, you zing them? "Hello, it's Mr Nasty." I'm sure you have no idea what I'm talking about.

Kathleen Kelly: [talking via email to "NY152"] No, I know exactly what you mean, and I'm completely jealous. What happens to me when I'm provoked is that I get tongue-tied and my mind goes blank. Then I spend all night tossing and turning trying to figure out what I should have said. What should I have said, for example, to a bottom dweller who recently belittled my existence?

[stops and thinks]

Kathleen Kelly: Nothing. Even now, days later, I can't figure it out.

Joe Fox: Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could pass all my zingers to you? And then I would never behave badly and you could behave badly all the time, and we'd both be happy. But then, on the other hand, I must warn you that when you finally have the pleasure of saying the thing you mean to say at the moment you mean to say it, remorse inevitably follows.

I'm pretty sure he was correct and I would hate the feeling of hurting someone else with my words, but sometimes I wish I could zing back.


Sewing Junkie said...

In the past I would have lashed out and spoke my piece, bnut as I get older I figure if they are picking on me they are leaving someone else alone. But I am a grudge holder. I do walk away from people who are harmful to my mental state such as it is. I think the electronic age has made us cold to others because most of the time we can't be identified because we are not visible to others. Up close and personal has left for parts unknown. Good Luck. Chris

Anonymous said...

Funny you should quote "You've Got Mail" ... we just watched it last night.
Linda G