Friday, December 28, 2007
The end of each year causes me to think back on the year and what I have accomplished and what I have failed at. I try to look mostly at the happy times, but I do seem to focus alot on the sadness and regrets.
I regret that my family is not any closer than it was last year at this time. About four years ago a change started happening in my family. It was like a snowball rolling downhill. I was not in control of this change and no matter how hard I tried to understand it and stop it I couldn't. My family was coming apart. For months my husband and I went to bed each night crying and went through each day in blur. After a while we were able to smile and then after much time we were able to laugh again. Then with no warning at all a wind would blow and and someone would rub salt in our wounds.
All I ever wanted for 26 years was a happy loving family. I didn't grow up in one so I was determined to work hard at having one when my husband and I married. Until 4 years ago I really though we had succeeded. We had what I would have told anyone was the closest, happiest family. So close that when things started falling apart around my ears I didn't (and still don't)understand what was happening. I even went to my Doctor and told him I thought I was losing my mind. He assured me I wasn't and told me I might just need to talk to someone.
My dearest friend who has loved me since we met over 25 years ago listened to me and cried with me and then she told me the truth. She told me that I only saw what I wanted to see. She told me I had been blind to some things. I didn't believe her and actually I was a bit mad at her for telling me such hurtful things. I felt betrayed by the one I trusted most besides my husband. After I cried and threw a several day long fit she called me again and told me she loved me and asked how I was.
I was so confused. I couldn't believe I was so wrong. I was so sad that my family was hurting like it was and felt like I could have fixed it if I had only paid more attention.
Now that it has been this long, I still feel sad, and I still hurt for what was lost, but I also know that I could not have done anything to stop it. People make choices in life. They have to make choices for their own life and all you can do is love them and pray they make good ones. If they don't make good choices you love them anyway and still pray for them.
I asked a counselor once if I was ever going stop hurting and if I would ever get over this. I was told this was alot like mourning a death. I would survive and I would eventually make it though the day without thinking about it. I hope he was right.
Things I am thankful for this year...(boy aren't you glad after the previous stuff)
1.My husband got a promotion
2.I have a friend who loves me
3.Made some new friends
4.Husband and I celebrated 26 years of marriage and we are still in love
6.My grown children have jobs and can pay their bills
7.I get to be an aunt again
8.My MIL loves me like I was her own
9.I have a SIL who is my quilting twin
10.Synthroid and Lexapro!!!
Wednesday, December 26, 2007
You are usually feeling: Amused - you are very easily entertained
You are famous for: Always making people smile. From your silly songs to your wild pranks, you keep things fun.
How you live your life: With ease. Life is only difficult when your friends won't play with you.
My husband has told me for years I am easily entertained...so I guess it's true! Honestly put me in front of my sewing machine and I am content. Give me the phone with my best friend and I am happy. Set me down with my family in Houston and I will laugh until I am exhausted. Give me a drive with my husband and I am just like a school girl again. I love driving for hours with Ray just listening to music and holding hands. I am a happy gal.
Saturday, December 22, 2007
Wednesday, December 19, 2007
This is a Linus Quilt made my a couple of ladies in my guild, my friend Nancy L is quilting it.
This is a round robin quilt that belongs to my frond Nancy L. I added the green diamonds floating on cream and the multicolored stripe right next to it. I learned alot doing this RR with her.
Monday, December 17, 2007
Friday evening I went with my man to his company Christmas dinner. It was nice as far as company dinners go. we sat at a table with several couples who we were able to talk with even though the DJ kept the music very loud most of the time. Once I even got up and asked him to turn it down as we couldn't talk over it. He mumbled something about being paid to play music and I smiled and thanked him and returned to my seat with many eyes on me. I am not sure if they were pleased with my or upset but I got to have a decent conversation for a few minutes.
Saturday Ray and I went to a late lunch at my favorite Mexican food place, then we went for a drive. When we got home we watched movies with youngest son and had a very nice evening.
I sewed some on Sunday, working on my mystery from Bonnie. I really think I am going to like this quilt. I love the fabrics together.
Ok, back to sewing...maybe pictures later
Thursday, December 13, 2007
I have been working on my mystery and I am really pleased with the way it is turning out. I was a bit worried as I do have problems picturing things in my mind sometimes and since this was a mystery I had no way of picturing it anyway. So that is why I chose the colors I did, I was thinking how I liked the way Neapolitan ice cream looks so I figured this would have to look good.
I would be farther along, but I managed to have an accident. Our quilt guild had our annual Christmas luncheon on Tuesday and I was rushing around trying to get all manners of things cooked even though I had plenty of time and was not rushed. Well I cut my hand at the base of my thumb where the web of skin is. I thought no big deal, I would put a band aid on it and it would be fine. No such luck. I had to go get a stitch put in it at the ER. :^( I seem to always have something happen to me during the holidays, stitches, pneumonia, surgery...
BUT...I managed to make it to the guild luncheon just in time to eat! LOL This may be my last Christmas luncheon with these ladies so I did NOT want to miss it!
Well while I was at guild I picked up one of my Christmas presents to myself...believe me ladies sometimes if you want the perfect gift you just have to buy it yourself! :^)
These are the cool spring loaded scissors, I really like them.
Sunday, December 9, 2007
I have decided to do my mystery in brown, pink and cream. After cutting several strips from each of the fabrics I have in these colors I discovered I don't have as many fabrics in these colors as I thought. Oh well, I will just have a less scrappy quilt, since I really want to use only stash. I already have my backing fabric set aside since it has the same colors in it and it is several yards in length.
Ok, back to the sewing room...
Saturday, December 8, 2007
I wanted to put some pictures of the whole band on here, but since I don't have permission from the parents I will only put pictures of my son..
Do you notice his hair is ALOT shorter than in the last picture? I like it better short!
Thursday, December 6, 2007
Youngest got his driver's permit! Yes I know he is 17, and most teen boys have their permits when they are 16, but my son never cared if he got his. His attitude was, "Why do I need a license when you and dad can drive and I know 100 people who do. I don't need to drive!"
Wednesday, December 5, 2007
I don't mind dyeing the fabric, that's fun, but taxes??? YUCK!
I have put it off as long as I can today. I have taken DS to school, I have read every blog I can, I have had a leisurely breakfast, emailed everyone I could think of, and the taxes are still here glaring at me.
So while you are off having a fun day at the sewing machine, think if me while I am NOT.
Tuesday, December 4, 2007
Today we worked on twin sized tops for two little girl who's father is a soldier that returned from the war several months ago after he was horribly injured. I wished I had taken my camera, but I forgot it.
Maybe I will run over to N.L.'s house and snap a picture for you to see. I think it is going to be cute.
I'm off to take a hot shower and crawl in the bed with a good book. I think I will never get used to this daylight savings time stuff. My body still thinks it is bed time when it is dark outside.
Sunday, December 2, 2007
We had patterns, a magazine, our annual t-shirt, a snowman card holder, a ruler and post it notes, and we must not forget the shower cap! We all love getting our bags and digging through. It sounds like little kids on Christmas morning.
Some of the ladies show up and are so organized, they are serious about their retreats!
We had new gadgets to try
(this is a beard groomer used as a seam ripper and it is great!
and quilts to be basted
Normally you go home on Sunday after lunch, but I went home Saturday night so I could spend a little time with my husband before he left again on another week long trip. I got home and completely surprised him since he didn't expect me until Sunday afternoon.
Thursday, November 29, 2007
Tuesday, November 27, 2007
Sunday, November 18, 2007
I am so excited, I get to go to Houston! I know, I know I just got back from there, but this is for fun. I was born in Houston and all of my family is still there. I get to leave on Tuesday evening after my oldest son gets off work and we get to stay until Sunday! I am so excited! We are staying at the SIL's house that is having the baby. This will be the first time to stay with them. Usually we stay at my MIL's house but now that her house has become a 2 family home, if we tried to stay there we would have to be hung on hooks in the garage, excuse me I was told that was now the pantry/storage room. LOL
Our Thanksgiving is a real fun time. We all get together on Wednesday and and start preparing veggies and stuff. All the time we are singing and laughing and playing games and watching videos and EATING! I promise these are some of the best cooks in the world! Believe me, you don't get to be the size we are with bad cooking! Late Wednesday night we all go to bed and Grandma (my MIL) is up and down all night checking on the turkey. Then she is up before dawn making pies, glorious pies! You have never seen the likes! She makes everything from scratch. We have coconut pie with and without the coconut ( I like the pudding but not the coconut so I get a special one) chocolate, pecan, cherry, lemon icebox, key lime and many more. My MIL is so great, she always has made something special for each person in the family. Even if no one else in the family loves it if you do she will make it. My favorite is what she calls fried corn. I don't know much of what she does to it, but I do know she buys fresh corn and cuts it off the cob and cooks in a big black iron skillet. YUM!
My SIL, Paula is a wonderful cook also. She can make dirt taste good, not that she has ever cooked dirt, but you know what I mean. She makes this wonderful eggplant dish that I crave all year long. My other SIL is the onion cutter in the family. I am sure she can cook very well, but I am not sure if I have ever eaten her cooking as we always eat Grandma's cooking at Grandma's house. Anyway Judy comes over early Wednesday morning and cuts all the onions and celery. That may not sound like a big job, but let me tell you it is. She probably cuts 10 cups of each one.
The men of course all sit around a talk and laugh and catch up since the last visit, which in some cases has been since last year. It is hard when you live 3 states away.
Can you tell I am excited??
Off to the movies...I want to see Mr Magorium's Wonder Emporium.
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Now that I have ripped all the wrong seams, I am back to where I was 4 hours ago. Oh well, you win some you lose some.
Have you ever used Misty Fuse? It is a fusible web that doesn't have the paper backing. I have been using this on the diaper bag and I think I like it. It is is nice and soft after fusing, not stiff like all the other fusible webs I have tried in the past. I can't wait to try it on applique.
I really want to get this bag finished so I can start on some gifts for my nieces and nephews. I decided this year I was going to make each one a pillowcase. I will shop my stash and see how many I can get made from there. Believe me I should be able to make more than enough. I love my stash!
Ok, so I have rambled long enough, I guess it is time to get back to work.
Friday, November 16, 2007
I went to a small quilty gathering at a friends house yesterday. There was about 8 or so of us and we chatted and laughed and tried to sew. Some got more done than others. Me, I brought my machine in and never took it out of the carrier. I was having too much fun playing with the baby.
I did start a baby/diaper bag for my expecting SIL. Judy doesn't do "cute" usually so I am making it with Moda's Shangri-La dark brown large floral for the main part and then found a green dot for accent and lining and a great coral for the handles. I will try my best to get a picture up before I take it to her next week. I decided that I would have a very hard time getting to a baby shower living as far away as I do so I want to take it to her now.
I have all the pieces cut out and now all I have to do is read the instructions and sew, but there in is the dilemma. I don't really read instructions very well. I hope I at least end up with something that resembles the bag.
Well, I better get busy!
Saturday, November 10, 2007
James was a friend when I felt so alone. He defended me when I was being abused. He showed me how someone should be treated. He proved "guys" could be trusted. James was the one who introduced me to my future husband. He married just a few months before I did and his wife and I were even expecting our first children at the same time. He mourned with me through my losses and helped me get my mind straight when I felt I was losing it.
Now all I have is memories, but I am happy I have them. I do remember his smile and infectious laugh. He had a wonderful singing voice, and led the worship music in his church for years. He loved to play softball. My husband and James were on teams together when we all were younger. As a matter of fact, I was almost stood up at the alter due to a championship ballgame on my wedding day. Everyone was playing ball and I was sitting at the church waiting for the groom, the groomsmen, even the pastor to show up as they all were playing that day. They all arrived with minutes to spare and everyone has had great laughs ever since remembering James still hot and sweaty at the wedding as he had just enough time to rush home shower and run back, but no time to cool off. Ray my husband was wearing a white tux and oh so handsome, but in a couple of pictures you could see his "lucky" socks (one gold band sock and one green band sock) showing through his pants. The Pastor (James' father) was still wiping sweat and all smiles as they had won!
I am not able to attend James' funeral and that makes me very sad, but honestly I am ok with it. I have to be here remembering him and reflecting. I love his parents so much and would love to see his wife and brother and sister, but will have to send them all a letter instead.
Thursday, November 8, 2007
Tricia Cribbs of FriendFolks was super busy this past year and introduced 4 count them FOUR books this year. Of course I had to decide what books I wanted to carry and that was hard. I decided on Turning Twenty #4 Feeling Groovy and Turning Twenty just got Better. My sister-in-law and Mother-in-law made a sample of Feeling Groovy from the #4 book by the same name and it is so cute!
I visited my friends at Superior Threads and nearly went broke! I have had such a good response since starting to carry the thread on my website, so I bought more...LOTS more. LOL
I made some new friends at Becolourful. Jaqueline de Jonge is the designer and what a designer she is! all I can say is WOW! Her brother seems to be her biggest cheerleader and fan. They both are some of the nicest people you could want to meet. I don't have all of her patterns, but I have many of them.
At Festival I don't know how it happened but I was blessed with a corner booth this year. I was so excited! I took a picture incase you wanted to see it.
Now to get everything unpacked and counted and put up on the website.
I also have this deep burning need to get into my stash of civil war reproductions and cut out a quilt. I usually feel that way after spending a long time getting ready for a show as I am immersed in all of the bright colors that I dye and I really need to be soothed with the calm colors of old.
More news later,
Friday, October 26, 2007
Ahem...sorry I am a bit tired and crazy right now. Of course just when I thought I would be packed and ready to go early this year a delivery arrived that I thought was not coming. So I had to stop what I was doing to get the patterns kitted. I was short a couple of colors I thought I needed so I had to quickly dye up a couple of yards. Then I had to rinse, then iron, then cut, then package...you get the idea. Six hours later I have everything kitted and bagged, but now I am six hours behind on packing. UGH!
I wanted to leave about 7am tomorrow, but I will be fortunate to be awake by then! I am so tired, but I can't sleep for thinking about what I don't want to forget.
Of course I didn't get groceries bought for the guys, but I guess they are capable of taking care of themselves for a few days.
Ok, I am going to try and sleep.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
I just love seeing the quilts up and down main street. Doesn't it have a Mayberry-ish feel to it? Can't you hear that whistling and imagine Sheriff Taylor taking Opie to the fishing hole? This imaginary town is one I could live in! If it existed, that is.
Now that this show is history I am home busy getting ready for Houston. I would be finished except I was not able to get to my sink for several days. Here is the story...you ready?
Ray and I came in the house a couple of days ago and a smell hit us as we walked in. It smelled like someone threw some spoiled food in the trash but didn't take it out. We looked, we sniffed, we poked around, but nothing. So I think maybe it's the fridge. Maybe something old was in there and needed to be cleaned out. Nope, not in there. Finally I open the cabinet under the sink and there it is! There has been a leak and the smell is the wet paper lining the cabinet. UGH! GROSS!
Now my husband can fix anything in the world he puts his mind to fixing. Key words being "puts his mind to". He does not like doing plumbing! Knowing this, what do you think are the only real repairs we have had to do since moving in this house? Hot water heater, dishwasher, multiple toilet (one of those being a complete overhaul), and now the kitchen faucet. LOL. The poor man can't win for losing! Has my stove (electric) gone out? No. How about my dryer? No. Only things that deal with water and water connections. Even our last house we had a water line bust under the sink and flood the whole house, but that is another story.
Anyway, Ray works for a couple of days and finally gets it all fixed as there is rusted bolts and drilling out of said bolts to be done only after he has worked 10 to 12 hour each day and before the local hardware store closes. But my man comes through once again and I have a new faucet. WOO HOO!
All of this said to explain why I am still working on dyeing fabric. I have only one more dye day and I will be done, but then I still have to rinse and iron. But I will do my level best to get my Turning Twenty fabrics in the dye today so I will have Saturday and Sunday to rinse and Monday through Wednesday to iron. All the while I have 2 baby size quilts that I need to quilt and bind. My friend Linda G is binding my Clam shells quilt. Isn't she too great? There are not many people I know who say to me, without me asking mind you, "Hand it to me and I will bind it and bring it to you on Monday". Now that is a friend! I have two quilts to drop at the long arm quilter today and then I will need to bind them. I will then be finished and ready for Houston. Do you think I can get it done by Thursday and be able to leave Friday? Man I hope so!
Monday, October 8, 2007
This is what I get for putting till tomorrow what I should have done that day. I am now in overtime mode getting everything ready for my next show on the 13th. The show is in Ponchatoula Louisiana and it is a really nice show. It is hard on vendors, but it is a good show non the less. It is only hard because it is a one day show so you show up and set up then sale then breakdown and go home. It would be fine, but I live 2.5 hours away from there so it makes for a very long day. This year I was told we could actually set up the day before the show. I am not sure if we will do this or not, but I hope we will. It will make it so much nicer to sleep between setup and breakdown.
The house is all abuzz with talk of shows and senior year of high school and moving and promotions. This is Ray's last week at his present job. Today is his last time to fly offshore as a "grunt" as I teasingly call him. He has for years had to haul really heavy tool bags up and down stairs on the offshore platforms, but today should be the last time. He said he was going to try and visit all of them today to say goodbye to all the men.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
The news is, my husband was offered the job, and he accepted. He will start his new job soon. My son and I will not be moving though until he graduates from high school in May. It will be a bit tough, but we will get through this.
I am trying to concentrate on dyeing. I have a show next weekend and then I have the International Quilt Festival the first week in November. I have so much to do!
I put some pictures of the dyeing later.