I just got off the phone with my #1 sister. My dad has Alzheimer's and had a stroke a a while back that left him even more muddled in his mind. My mom has been taking care of him but lately she is having a hard time even caring for herself. #1 sister called mom on Saturday afternoon and Moma was talking out of her head. She said she was running a fever and didn't feel good, but needed to get in the kitchen and finish cooking the brisket and ribs. My mom has not "cooked" in a very long time. She cooks simple meals daily but nothing like brisket, ribs, pies, etc. #1 sister was a bit surprised when Moma was talking about my niece coming over for a nap, and the whole family coming for dinner.
She called my #3 sister who lives a short distance (10 minutes) away and asked her to go check on both Moma and Daddy. Well dear #3 sister didn't feel it necessary to "GO" check on them so she called. UGH! When #1 sister finally got a hold of #3 sister and asked if she checked on them, #3 said , "No, I didn't go over there I was busy, but me and my husband have been talking about putting them in Assisted Living.
Ok, I am a realist. I know one day and it may not be too long away Moma and Daddy will not be able to stay home alone. Daddy will get worse and Moma will not be able to care for him. Moma has enough health issues that she might be able to care for herself for a while, but I don't think it will be for long.
BUT...for today they are fine at home. They need to be checked on and talked to daily, but they are doing pretty good unless one gets sick. Well, #1 was pretty peaved when she called me a few minutes ago. She talked to Moma and wants to get a Medical Power of Attorney for both of them and get someone to be Statutory Durable Power of Attorney. Moma said she want my husband to be the SDPoA. I told #1 she needs to be the MPoA since she is the one who takes them to the doctor and she is at their house 2-3 times a week.
Living this far away makes it very hard for me to feel I can do much. I call a couple times a week and try to keep up with what they are doing and what they need.
It sounds so trivial...
I have always heard families really take a beating at times like these. Our family has never been close, and probably could be called screwed up but it is what it is and they are my family and I love them. I hope through all of the decisions that have to be made we can remember we are trying to help Moma and Daddy have the best and healthiest rest of their lives.