Sunday, May 17, 2009

still in Houston and I'm sad

Moma is still in the hospital and I am still taking care of Daddy.
Moma is doing much better. Actually she could have come home last night but she asked to stay another day or so. She is tired. Well I might be tired too if I had had the week she had.

Daddy is not having a good morning so far. He can't remember why Moma is gone and why I am here taking care of him instead of her.

My niece and her family came over last evening and brought dinner. Daddy really enjoyed it and the visit.

I didn't sleep much last night as this week is piling up on me. All I can do is wonder what will happen to them when I am gone. No I am not the only child, and no I am not the only one who loves them or cares about them. But I am the only one who has been here all week.
One sister only lives about ten minutes away, but she works so she isn't here. Another sister lives across town and in Houston across town means at least 45 minutes away with no traffic. That sister doesn't work, but I am not sure she drives much.
I on the other hand could be here except I live 17 hours away.

Daddy can't read the paper because the print is too small...he always loved reading the paper. I wonder if they print a large print edition?
He doesn't watch too much television anymore because he can't understand what they say. He loved watching the "idiots" (republicans) debate on the news. He LOVES every sport except cricket and soccer.
So Daddy spends most of his day sleeping or thinking. Telling me he used to work on cars all the time and race his truck and now he can't even drive one. He used to walk 6 miles a day and now he needs a cane to go to the bathroom. How he loved doing carpentry work and now isn't allowed to go into his workshop.
I learned yesterday my Daddy went to college! I never knew that. He went to the local community college after serving in the Army (Korean war) and took a 16 month class in carpentry. I always knew Daddy could build anything but now I know he actually studied it.

Moma may get to come home today but I won't tell Daddy until she is on her way here because it would make him anxious until she arrived.

Today is the day I have to decide if I am staying another week or going home with Ray. I wouldn't mind staying so to get Moma back up and around. But I really want to go home, for many reasons. Every time I come to Houston I remember why I left. Today I deal with guilt for not wanting to be here anymore.

Life is so stressful sometimes...


Randi said...

I'm so sorry...

Linda said...

You have to not feel guilty. And I'm sure when your mom comes home she will get some sort of home health care...make sure you ask about that.