I have been silently fuming. For those who really know me, you can get off the floor laughing, I really have been suffering silently. There is no reason to get the husband upset since this affected him too.
Have you ever been mistreated? Have you ever been the one on the losing end of the deal? Have you ever been taken advantage of? Of course you have! So why do I feel so alone in this? Like I am the only one who has been betrayed.
tr.v. be·trayed, be·tray·ing, be·trays
a. To give aid or information to an enemy of; commit treason against: betray one's country.
b. To deliver into the hands of an enemy in violation of a trust or allegiance: betrayed Christ to the Romans.
2. To be false or disloyal to: betrayed their cause; betray one's better nature.
3. To divulge in a breach of confidence: betray a secret.
4. To make known unintentionally: Her hollow laugh betrayed her contempt for the idea.
5. To reveal against one's desire or will.
6. To lead astray; deceive. See Synonyms at deceive.
These are the thoughts in my head...
Betrayed by those who are nearest to me? Sure! But then again how could you be betrayed by anyone not close to you? Think about it, only those near you could betray you.
I am reminded of a song years ago that was talking about how Christ was betrayed by a kiss. Someone who was close enough to him to be able to embrace him and kiss him was the one who hurt him. The pain wasn't so much the betrayal, but the action coming from one He loved.
That is how I am feeling right now. I was hurt by one close to me. One who used love to get what they wanted and then ground my feelings in the ground.
I read some words today that I hope will help me through this. Really I just want to get on the other side of this. I am tired of this knot in my stomach. I am tired of these feelings. In a few weeks I have to be face to face with the person(s) who did this and I really want to reflect Christ not myself.